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Catch me if you can/Cause I'm the England man/And what you're looking at is the master plan...

Published by Warren Dell under on Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Don't know whether any of you caught Rio's World Cup Wind-Ups on TV but there were some cringe worthy moments. The idea behind the programme is basically the same as MTV's Punked series but it's Rio's England and Man Utd team mates who get the treatment.

Some of the pranks included:

A not very convincing copper trying to let Gary Neville off with points on his driving license in exchange for a photo.

An Oscar winning performance by Robbie Fowler who was in on setting up Peter Crouch into buying an apartment in an exotic complex shaped like a cock.

And David James getting all philisophical over some paintings in an art gallery which were done by pre-school kids - this one was actually funny when he started to sum up the paintings and some of his own.

Rio made Ashton Kutcher's whining seem funny though when after every segment he was saying straight to the camera 'Wayne Rooney, you got merked!', 'David Beckham, you got merked!' I find it cringe worthy when some random wigga in the high street says he murked someone, but Rio really took the crown with this one. While each prank was going on the camera kept going back to Rio in the control room in hysterics while unloading a barrage of gun signals and Ali G-esq hand actions.

It was bad enough and surely not thought through well enough when they tried to prank David Beckham. They were supposed to piss him off by making him late for a meeting and taking different diversions, what instead happened was after getting agitated enough he jumped out the car at the traffic lights and ran off. Whether he thought it was some suspicious kidnapping plot or not the guy could have got run over getting out that car in a panic and that's game over for his World Cup. Nice thinking there Rio, would like to have seen him explain that to Sven.

The metetarsals are doing enough to damage our World Cup chances as it is let alone Rio trying to pull off a prank that could put a player in danger.

The programme was made from Rio's production company Next Generation TV & Film and the next ground-breaking output will be an 8Mile meets X Factor reality show where Rio will be a judge alongside Wayne Rooney and Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Where to begin? Are we really going to get any serious budding emcees out there really auditioning in front of these three? I can already imagine a load of people clad in chav clothing while talking about guns and jewellery after being fed on a steady diet of 50 Cent and Snoop Dogg. I'm all for footballers looking into other aspects of work as their careers are short but just because you have a bunch of US rap played in the changing rooms before games and have plenty of money to throw around doesn't mean you're suddenly a music mogul.
Programmes like the X Factor and Pop Idol rarely produce some serious artists, with the exception of Will Young and the eye candy of Girls Aloud no one has carved out what you could call a career. I don't see any change here either with the emcees entering being more of the laugh hysterically while cringe at variety, rather than the next Ty or Klashnekoff.

Whatever happens it's going to make Hip-Hop look very silly in the eyes of the general public, it's bad enough as it is when you tell someone you listen to Hip-Hop music and they think you're all 50 Cent this and bling bling that.


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